A new feature at Duder, we want to introduce one person a week who exemplifies all of the qualities of a bonafide Dude. Over the decades, only a few men can be said to have a truly extraordinary grasp of the English language. Churchill, Keats, Biggie, Dylan: Move Over. Meet this week’s Honorary Duder: Bill Walton
Fact: Bill Walton runs show. On and Off the court, Walton has established himself as (in his own words) a truly “classical human being”. As one of the most dominant big men of the 1970’s and 80’s, Walton has since been inducted into the NBA hall of fame. What really sets Bill apart however, is his work as a sportscaster in the years since he retired his legendary sky hook.
Simply put, Bill brings it every night. His unnecessarily elaborate, verbose and obscure commentary is what makes Bill such an amazing Dude, worthy of being named the first Honorary Duder.
Whether he is declaring his son Luke Walton “The best passing big man in the game” after only his rookie season with the Lakers, or dropping eargasmic and hyperbolic commentary such as the famous gem: “LeBron James…. With No Regard! For Human Life!” Bill Walton is a beauty. Check out these amazing verbal masterpieces:
Comparing Boris Diaw to “Beethoven and the Age of the Romantics”
What makes this clip so much better is that Boris Diaw is among the most mediocre centers in the league, and he is now toiling away in obscurity with the Charlotte Bobcats.
Can that be topped? Oh yes. I dare to dream. Check out Bill’s amazingly elaborate response to the question of how Amare Stoudamire’s return from injury will affect the Suns’ performance:
The only possible explanation for that intro is that it was revealed to him during a a fever dream by some benevolent higher power. Congrats Bill, you are the first Honorary Duder.